Man Up!

I'm convinced that some men are still trying to prove their manhood, well past their 40's.

As a child of the 60's & 70's, we boys were always trying to show our masculinity. I got into some scrapes with other young boys. It was part of what we did. We defended our family's honor. Sometimes that meant a fist fight. I did okay on one or two occasions and not so well on one or two other occasions. I learned from those experiences, it was better to avoid those situations whenever possible.

Then came the 80's and things changed. It started in the late 70's actually. Men and boys started getting their hair done in salons, like the ladies. Then came a whole litany of characteristics men were supposed to adopt.

We were told men should get in touch with their feminine side. Men were considered Neanderthals and needed to change. Keep the chivalry, but lose the brashness. Men were referred to as "chauvinists." But the women kept gravitating to the "bad boys." Women still wanted a man that could protect them. For many guys this made things confusing.

Some of the men who took seriously to the getting in touch with their feminine side, were acting in traditionally female ways. By this, I mean they started having whine sessions (that's not a misspelling) with their "girl" friends. I'm going to call these men Talkers just to make this easier to discuss. You see, men listen to women's problems and want to fix them. Women sometimes just want to talk and have someone listen. Many men (the Talkers) started doing what women do. And who do you think they turned to? That's right, women. I believe this is a dangerous path for most men. Many women will view the Talker as weak. If the Talker is in a position of authority and/or responsibility, some women will take advantage of that weakness. Add to that, if a Talker happens to befriend a married woman or, well, you get the idea.

Even more dangerous than a man appearing weak to controlling women, is the Talker will almost certainly feel threatened by other men. Yep. Men (Talkers) who confide their feelings to women, other than their Wife or closest friends, will lash out at other men when legitimately questioned on various matters. This is especially true of Talkers in positions of authority and responsibility.

If you challenge a Talker's decision on just about anything of importance, they will take it as a personal affront to their manhood. They will then list various reasons why you should respect their manhood. They'll present a past achievement or their title as the reason you should respect them or their manhood. Having served in the military, we used to often say; I may have to respect the uniform, not the man. The man must earn my respect.

Have we gone so far down the path of appeasing the desires of some women and psychiatrists that young men are no longer men? Are men just another animal that can no longer be chivalrous, masculine and different than women? I mean, we had a wildly popular book in the 90's called Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (John Gray, PhD, Harper Collins). The whole premise was that men and women are different. Really? We needed a book to tell us that?

Hmm. What do you think?